Season 2010/11


Review Comsoleague Results, Table and Match Schedules —- Click Here

Review Mid Week League Results, Table and Match Schedules —- Click Here

The 2010-2011 Season saw the replacement of our beloved Coach and Gute Laune Bär Jogi Jörg-Wolfgang by Thomas B. Berner after a sucessfull start in September. Reason being IMs “Alle Besser” and “Wie Wir”! Thanks Jogi for all your effort and still helping out if the Restaurant owner is too busy!

The team had a mediocre performance with finishing in the lower half for the first time since ages. A positive note: next year it is easier to improve! We had great successes as the 1-0 1-man-down needing 3 Goalkeepers victory against Casuals, our annual Tours to Bangkok and Phuket, our season end trip to Bali and loads of fun in other social events!

MVP: Volker Giebitz

Best Newcomer: Marcus Michel

Special Note: Zafer, our turkish cat from the Bosporus was voted Goal Keeper of the Season in the entire Cosmo-League! Well done!!!

Enjoy the write up of our chief statistic officer Volker:


  • · We finished in 9th place as compared to 8th place in the 2009/10 and 2008/09 and 6th place in 2007/08.
  • · We managed to battle to 32 points as compared to 41 in 2010, 40p 2009 and 38p 2008. However in 2009 and 2010 we had 2 games more. Hence our points per game average reduced from ~1.5ppg to 1.2ppg.
  • · We scored 50 goals and received 59 as compared to 64:59 in 2010, 78:69 in 2009 and 81:72 in 2008. This clearly can be attributed to our popular-catenaccio-Taktik (”Nuttentaktik”: Let them come first, make them pay later) with 1 usually outstanding goalkeeper, 4 defenders, 4 defensive midfielders, 1 hanging semi-offensive midfielder and 1 striker who is not allowed to enter the opposite half without a valid travel application.
  • · On the positive side we achieved the Cup Semifinal and only due to a stroke of bad luck and crooked feet in front of goal we missed the finals. Only the very old one’s among us remember that the last time we qualified for the cup semifinale was in season 2002/03 with an equally unfortunate 0:1 loss against the Rangers.
  • · Obviously as a result of above we did not qualify for the plate final for the first time in human memory.
  • · We certainly had as much fun on and off the pitch as in the seasons before.

Games played

  • · We fielded 44 players which is less than in the previous seasons (50, 52).
  • · The title of Mr Reliability for the season goes to Mr. Handball Jenson Taubken for a remarkable 27 games out of 29 possible. Others to name who crossed the magic 20 games line are: Cylle, Markus D. and yours truly all with 25, followed by Dr. Sascha Pierre Jean-Marie Eloise Compte de St. Heussler 24, Madze “Metzger” Bertelsmann 23 (forced with 12 last minute time wasting substitutions) and Dr. Hermann Bergmann-Wiegemann (21).
  • · In terms of minutes played (relying on the 150% accurate substitution records provided in the reports) the title of Mr. Endurance also goes to Mr. don’t-touch-the-Jaegermeister Jenson Taubken with an unbelievable 2,365 minutes, followed by yours truly with 1,964 (giving the title “Mr. Endurance” a certain twist) and Mr Cylle with 1,915.
  • · Thankfully we are still not able to record the running distance per match.


  • · 19 brilliant assists allowed Opa Volle to reclaim the goalscorer title with 19 goals (the 22 goals on the cosmopage are unfortunately not true…)
  • · Second place goes to Capitano Klemmi with 11 and third to Madzinho Bertl with 5
  • · Other notable scorers: Anne Frank, Dr. SPJMECdS Heussler, the Herminator and Ronaldo Nock all 3, Schach Norris, Jan, Cylle and the unbelievable (”I am not a goalkeeper”) Rene Schiba all 2, and finally with 1 goal Leasure-Suit-Larry L’Erotic, Tilman, die weisse Feder (Ingo H) and Schmidtchen Schleicher
  • · Other notable non-scorers: Pipo von Pein (excused as right shooting leg was injured most of the season), Alexej Vyacheslavovic Rymsky-Bursakov (excused as right and left shooting leg were in resorts most of the season), Markus Midweek-Master Dolenga (excused as incompetent linesmen ruled out 6 clear goals as offside), McEss Mecklenburg (excused as it’s difficult to score from behind a massage bench), Spitzi Spitzmueller (scoring prevented by a string of unbelievable goal keeper saves) and Jens Taubken (well…). Apologies to the two or three other non-scorers not honored in this section.


  • · The title of “Assistkoenig” is split between Capitano Klemmi, “Anne Frank” Markus Michel, Dr. Sasch and “Flankengott” Cyllator with 6 each.
  • · Following are 1860 (Admin right!!!) Bertl with 5, New-Dad Taubken with 4 (not considering the nice catch against the Hotspurs which by right qualifies for -1 assist), Opa Volle with 4, Pipolero, Markus D. 3, Marco, Ronnie, Schoko 2, L’Erotic, Philipp Baum, Zafer, Denis the menice and Spitzi 1.

Scorer Points

  • · For those of you who can’t add the goals to the assists, the scorer points split as follows: Opa Volle 23, Capitano 17, Madzinho 10, Anne Frank & Dr. SPH 9, Cylle 8, Ronnie 5, Schachi & Taube 4

Mr Effectivity

  • · (In terms of meters/goal worldwide likely myself)
  • · In terms of Scorer Points / Game Mr Effectivity goes to Markus “Anne Frank” Michel with 1.125 points / game. Well done and happy to see that at least one award goes to somebody without grey hair.
  • · Followers are the usual suspects (Il Capitano with 1.063, Larry L’Erotic with 1.000 and the Grandfather with 0.920).

Men of the match

  • · Leading men-of-the-match is Zafer the black cat of Bosporus with 7 nominations
  • · Following are Jenson and Rene with 3 – Rene being the only one earning MoM as goalie and field player – Hermann, Larry, Marco, Alex 2, Sascha, Anne Michel, Tilman, Spitzi, Schoko, Jan, Dennis Thun, Madze and the grey wolf with 1
  • · Notably our opponents awarded MoM a staggering 8 times to Zafer and 2 times to Rene which confirms the tradition of excellent German goalkeepers (well, turkish & german goalkeepers). In addition Il Capitano received 5 MoMs from the opponent and Uncle Sascha 3.


  • · Another German tradition was upheld with zero missed penalties. Our lowly 3 penalties were duly converted by Capitano Micha 2x and Opa Volle 1x.
  • · On the other side our opponents missed a total of 46 penalties (52 of it by British players) from the hands of our glorious goalkeepers. One poor dutch chap missed the goal entirely.

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